I’m not sure if any of you have noticed my absence on here, and if you have I’m sorry to disappoint you!
I’m just going to get right into it and not give much personal detail about the major reason but I’m sure we’ve all been there and hopefully you understand.
My relationship has been falling apart thread by thread.
Due to me finding out about things my bf was doing behind my back for over 2 months has been the major contribution to my absence. Like I said I won’t go into any details unless someone out there is willing to lend a ear and help me vent or get through this rough time.
With all this happening, my depression has been I guessing you can say controlling me or giving me no interest or motivation to keep up with anything that makes me happy . . aka my blog. I have sat down several times starting new posts and half way through them I give up. If I’m not happy in my personal life, I can’t enjoy things outside of my relationship.
My main focus and concern is me and my daughter, through all this she was probably affected more than I was, and she may not know what happened but she knows when something is wrong. I’m trying to keep myself occupied with her and making sure she’s happy so I don’t have time to think about anything.
But at the end of the night when my head hits the pillow it all comes back, everything going through my head just fills it up, I can’t stop thinking about things and wonder about other things. I feel like I’m in a constant fight with my own mind and can’t control it.
There’s days where I don’t want to get out of bed and be an adult, I just want to lay in bed and forget everything around me.
I just want you all to know that I haven’t gave up on my blog, I just need to find my passion and motivation again to get back on the ball.
If anyone has this same issue where you need to get things off your chest or vent, please please feel free to contact me, I’m always here to listen and help the best I can. I just at this point don’t have that person to talk to about anything because my one supporter in life is who ended up hurting me.